[Library01] Let’s Talk About Reading 읽는 다는 것 – 1

No matter how wonderful reading is said to be, the truth is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to actually do it. For me, despite my strong passion for reading, it can still be a struggle at times. It makes me wonder how others cope with it. Whenever I talk with my students, I notice that they find reading particularly challenging. And this sentiment seems to grow stronger every single year.

These days, with AI easily serving up neat summaries of everything, it’s only natural for people to think, “Why bother reading the whole thing anyway?”

Despite this, there are several reasons why we absolutely must read. In fact, I have spent a lot of time searching for those reasons myself. While I have my own personal motivations, understanding the causes and effects discussed in psychology, psychoanalysis, and neuroscience provides an even stronger boost of motivation. Indeed, I often experience “book slumps” (periods of reading fatigue) myself, so I constantly need these kinds of reminders to keep going. While I plan to explore what these disciplines have to say through other books in future posts, here are a few of my own personal reasons:

Mental Training

This varies slightly depending on what kind of book you are reading. For instance, a fast-paced thriller doesn’t require much effort; in fact, the challenge there is often trying to stop. On the other hand, reading a slightly difficult humanities book, a subject you know nothing about, or a demanding work of philosophy requires a great deal of active thinking, analysis, and often other activities like taking notes to organize your thoughts or looking up words in a dictionary. It is, frankly, a hassle! But if you chew on it and push through, you eventually discover the true beauty of it.

The reason I call this “training” is because it is just like strength training. If you skip it for a few days, even reading a single page takes significantly more effort. But if you do it little by little every day, you develop a form of “mental stamina” that supports you even when the material gets tough.

When reading Heidegger or Hegel, I would spend an hour on just two or three pages—no, I didn’t even think about turning the page; instead, I chewed on and savored every single sentence. Even after reading the whole thing and organizing my notes, there were times when I still felt lost. (It’s that devastating feeling where you think you understood each sentence as you read it, but after three pages, you realize you have no idea what the overall point is. It feels absolutely crushing.)

In those moments, I simply read it all the way through once, and then read it again. With Heidegger’s Being and Time, it was only after reading it once, going through a commentary book, and then reading the original text twice more that things finally began to click. The feeling of that breakthrough is comparable to the sheer thrill of silently clenching your teeth, doing abdominal workouts for about three months, and suddenly realizing that something resembling muscle is finally starting to show. Once you taste that kind of thrill, your fear of books vanishes. This, perhaps, is the greatest harvest of all. In a way, reading might just be the pure pleasure of “leveling up” or “conquering a boss,” disguised as the pursuit of knowledge.

The question is, does it get any easier after that? Not necessarily. To frame it that way would be incorrect. In reality, the hardest thing to fight is an impatient mind. There are moments when you grow weary of a book, and other times when you are tempted to jump to a different one. It is just like working hard on your chest routine, only to have the muscle pain flare up all over again when you switch back to a back workout after a long time. Enduring and passing through these moments is also part of the training. If you discipline your mind and slowly chew on each page—no, each line, or rather, each individual word—you eventually earn the privilege of being drawn directly into the author’s mind. What a wondrous and deeply humbling experience that is. For me, the hardest part is resisting the urge to rush and forcing myself to tolerate those slow, deliberate moments.

At any rate, this is how the brain builds its muscles. Patience, endurance, and all of these traits are closely linked to metacognition, which is why I consider reading to be an incredibly vital form of training.

Rest

My reading rhythm shifts depending on the type of book. Some books must be read aggressively; others demand the utmost slowness and focus; while some, as mentioned earlier, are so engaging that they require no great effort at all. For me, those effortless reads are usually light essays or novels—the kinds of books I read during or after meals, or right before going to bed. Slipping into a story without having to tense up or keep a notebook by my side can be far more addictive and enjoyable than getting lost in short videos on YouTube or TikTok. Finding such a book is a stroke of luck, and when I do, it is incredibly easy to stay up all night reading. For me, books serve as a portal to another world, much like Alice’s rabbit hole. In those moments, at least, all anxiety fades away.

I fully agree with Montesquieu, who said, “I have never known any distress of the mind which was not mitigated by an hour’s reading.” When we have a conflict with students at school or face troubles in the outside world, we often end up chewing on those problems late into the evening. In Buddhist terms, we are actively shooting ourselves with the “second arrow.” When the mind is this chaotic, picking up a book is harder than it seems. Oh, you can physically lift the book (out of a desire to escape), but focusing is nearly impossible.

In times like these, I read aloud. I gently read each character, one by one, in my own voice. At first, it is still hard to focus, and whenever I realize the words aren’t sinking in, I go back to the previous page. But after about five minutes of reading, I find myself completely absorbed in the sound of my own voice. Or perhaps a more accurate description would be that I reach a state where the physical voice itself seems to fade away. My mind grows quiet, and I remain entirely present within the book. Of course, this doesn’t magically lift all of life’s burdens, but for a brief moment, it places me in a quiet garden where I can step away from all that stress. This is how books gift us with true rest. When it comes to finding genuine rest, apart from taking walks, napping, meditating, or simply zoning out, there really aren’t many options left for modern humans. But perhaps we can save the topic of “rest” for next time!

[Library 00] Introduction: On Reading and Writing 독서와 글쓰기에 관하여

I might be biting off more than I can chew, but after all, this is my blog. I write what I want to write, and I have a lot to say. Since I’ve set up a new category for this theme, I’d like to introduce another series: the ‘Library’ series.

To be honest, this blog has mostly focused on my profession and electronic music research, but reading is a very important hobby – and work – of mine. To call it just a hobby, though, I sometimes spend more time reading than working, and the impact books have on me is immense. So, I’ve decided it’s time to talk about books in earnest.

Another reason I read is because I want to write. It took me a long time to realize this fact about myself. I have no desire to write fiction or imaginary stories, but the urge to pour out my thoughts has always been there. The starting point for that attempt was likely this blog, which I began a long time ago. When I was younger, I felt a certain burden about publicly voicing my thoughts and leaving a trace. But now, it seems the desire to express myself has finally overcome the fear.

In short, this series will consist of writings that capture my reflections on books.

Another purpose of starting this series is to reduce the moments when I read half-heartedly. Being human, I quite clearly hit my intellectual limits when reading. When the material gets difficult, there are moments where I just skim through it. If I don’t confront and break through those moments, I can never overcome my limitations. As with most things, adding a bit of healthy enforcement makes it much easier. Therefore, I intend to use this blog as a sort of weapon to read through texts that are somewhat difficult or dry. This commitment has already begun.

Imagined Library of Alexandria

Image source: Historical Eve (The Library of Alexandria)

I’m not entirely sure what kind of books will end up here. While they will primarily be books that deeply triggered my thoughts, these days, finding a truly great book among the flood of weekly new releases is no easy task. The process and discernment of choosing a book are just as critical. Sometimes, I even block out specific ‘book-choosing time’ on my schedule and spend hours browsing online bookstores.

Currently, I subscribe to two Korean online bookstore services: ‘Millie’s Library’ and ‘Kyobo Book Centre (sam)’. I maintain annual subscriptions to both to read as much as I want. However, since the latest releases I really want to read are occasionally unavailable, I still buy about one physical or electronic book a month separately. I log all the books I read in an app called ‘Bookflib’. Interestingly, this app calculates the total number of pages I’ve read along with the combined retail price of the books. Looking at that, it feels like the annual subscription fees for both services are practically free. I am simply grateful to be able to read so many books in Korean, transcending the boundaries of time and space.

(As a side note, every morning for an hour, I read textbooks or philosophy books in their original languages—materials directly related to my work and projects. For me, this hour is strictly considered ‘study time’ rather than leisure reading. Yet, it is a form of reading done with tight, focused attention. I plan to include records of these books in this series as well.)

However, online subscription services do have their downsides. As I mentioned earlier, because I am not paying for each book individually, an complacent attitude of ‘I can always read it later’ creeps in, leading to careless skimming. Since this can easily turn into a bad habit, I am consciously putting a lot of effort into correcting it.

Being naturally impatient, there are times when I am reading one book while my mind is already racing ahead to the next one. This kind of hastiness causes me to overlook the crucial subtext between the lines. I hope that the act of leaving these posts on my blog will correct my poor reading habits and serve as a precious opportunity to fully contemplate and write.

As with my other series, I would be deeply grateful to anyone who takes the time to stop by and read this.

[Lab02] Some notes on Inverter, Theory, and Reality 이론과 실제의 간극, 그리고 인버터의 이모저모

The experiments I’m introducing were conducted about three years ago, so the vividness of those moments might have faded a little. However, the most valuable discovery from that time was not just the fact that I completed the circuits, but that I got a true taste of the gap between theory and reality.

Typically, when creating variations in a circuit, the first element people look to is the resistor. I’ve previously shown examples using a xylophone as a resistive body. However, the most interesting harvest from this experiment (perhaps felt more strongly due to my lack of prior knowledge) was the change that occurred when swapping various capacitors.

Various Capacitors

In reality, there are so many different types of capacitors. Depending on their material and construction (polarized or not, degree of stability, etc.), and how they are connected, the dynamics of the circuit change significantly. The calculated values in an RC circuit are actually quite abstract figures; in a real-world environment, staying exactly at those numbers requires immense effort to prevent noise. For me, however, that discrepancy is exciting. As long as basic operation is guaranteed, all these unpredictabilities become meaningful.

While a change in resistance directly alters the frequency by slowing the flow of current, the capacitor not only sympathizes with that process but also becomes a key element in determining the timbre. Even with the same capacity, using a capacitor made of a different material changes the texture because the capacitor itself acts as a kind of filter. For those of us who handle circuits as musical material, this is an indispensable element.

Another thing that awakened my naivety was the role of feedback. My previous experience with feedback was primarily positive feedback in audio signals—a phenomenon where a specific frequency explodes and reinforces itself. Because I had focused mostly on unwanted howling or chaotic instability, adapting to the completely different nature of feedback found within a circuit was quite challenging. I wondered, “How can feedback create stability?” Believing that feedback always symbolized instability was a very one-dimensional thought.

Feedback in a circuit mainly takes the form of negative feedback, where the output suppresses the input. The structure of an inverter oscillator utilizes this very principle. By returning the output to the input to constantly flip the state, with the speed controlled by R and C, a steady oscillation is created. In other words, feedback here serves as a stabilizer that sustains the oscillation while keeping the system within a specific orbit. The diagram below shows an abstract form of feedback without R and C.

In the previous 4049 inverter experiment, I used ceramic capacitors to allow the voltage to swing between two points. When used to ‘copy’ and return a signal from a specific point, these are sometimes called ‘feedback capacitors.’ Since the 4049 lacks hysteresis, the transition between 0 and 1 is extremely sensitive and unstable. The numerous noises generated during this process mix into the output, which, from a tinkering perspective, becomes very interesting musical material. On the other hand, a Schmitt Trigger filters out such ambiguous noise sharply, making it more suitable for clean oscillator design rather than experimental purposes.

Furthermore, the 4049 has a random distribution of Vss and Vdd for each input, making the starting point difficult to predict. Without an initial connection, the voltage maintains a random value; the moment a connection is made, it starts operating from an already random voltage level. It’s a truly thrilling point.

A few more notes on inverters:

A series of inverters can create a delay, influenced by two main factors:

  1. Capacitor values: Capacitor Delay
  2. Gate latencies: Connecting an odd number of inverters in series is called a “ring oscillator.” A minute amount of time, measured in nanoseconds, is required for the signal to pass through each gate, depending on the IC chip’s design. Gate Latency

Note that an odd number of inverters must be connected for oscillation to occur. If an even number is connected, the output becomes latched to the same state as the input, and the circuit stays in one state without oscillating. Even Number Latch

To create a distinct time delay audible to the ear in an analog circuit, a separate “clock” device is required. The gate latency method described above is closer to a phase shifter that subtly pushes the phase of the waveform, rather than a traditional delay, as it operates on a fleeting nanosecond scale.