[Lab 01]. Introduction

Between 2023 and 2024, as the pandemic began to subside and a new daily life emerged, an exciting project opportunity opened up for me: the Speculative Sound Synthesis research. My friend Luc was kind enough to include me in a major project proposal. While the funding results were originally expected during the height of COVID-19, the project—like so many other things at the time—came to a halt. I had even forgotten that my name was on the proposal.

Fortunately, the project eventually received funding. It was originally planned as a three-year endeavor, but unfortunately, Luc and I had to step away after just two years. I prefer not to discuss the reasons, and at this point, they are no longer important. What matters is the lasting impact those two years had on me.

It has been a long time since I engaged in formal research. I completed my Master’s at Sonology in 2008 and another in Amsterdam in 2011. While I have released many works and conducted smaller studies over the past decade, this project allowed me to realize several things about my practice.

First, through years of composition, I have accumulated much more to say and more things I want to explore. Second, I noticed that my creative process had begun to take on certain patterns—one could say my artistic voice has become clearer. Third, I started questioning very small, fundamental things. These are often closer to philosophical inquiries; I began to harbor basic yet profound questions about the sounds I handle and the technologies I use to create them.

To elaborate, we primarily create or transform sound using computers, which means following digital signal processing (DSP) methods. I understand how signals are processed through my studies in DSP. However, ultimately, behind those technical calculations lies a specific way of handling time—and the same applies to analog methods. I realized I had never seriously considered what fundamental difference these two approaches bring to us as electronic music composers.

I discovered that the worlds of analog and digital, so close yet so far, have always been with me in an unfamiliar way. It was a moment of sudden clarity: I needed to return to the basics. I wanted to understand signals more deeply. And so, the project began.

I started by focusing on how time is processed from analog to digital. Following my characteristic “tinkering” approach, I allowed myself to cross over into whatever areas piqued my interest, resulting in several fascinating experiments.

Moving forward, I intend to collect and share these experiments here—many of which were created back then but never published. These are not quite tutorials, nor are they clearly defined artistic outcomes. It is better to call them “experimental fragments.” By releasing them here, I will document my thought processes and questions, and perhaps I might find answers to one or two of them. Perhaps this writing is simply a means for me to maintain a proper record.

There may be moments where a post ends abruptly without a clear conclusion, but I want to steadily list these past experiments as a series while continuing to pursue new ones. As mentioned, the research was interrupted after two years, and I moved on to other projects. It feels as though I only opened the door to let some air in without progressing further. Now, I want to return to that research and continue it on my own (with occasional conversations with Luc).

If someone happens to find and read this, that would be wonderful. But even if not, I am content. I am simply grateful to finally begin this record.

2025 in a Nutshell

As the year comes to an end, I find myself more drawn to noticing how I have been thinking and working.

This year was marked by a sustained engagement with practice rather than resolution. I spent much of my time building, testing, listening, and reworking—often without a clear sense of where things would land. Instead of aiming for finished forms, I stayed with processes that were unstable, provisional, and sometimes uncomfortable.

Much of this year’s work was shaped by my one-year lectorate research at the Conservatoire, Tinkering as a Speculative Tool for Music Composition.

This research emerged out of a sense of urgency. My originally three-year project, Speculative Sound Synthesis, unexpectedly ended after two years in 2024, just as the work was becoming more focused. I was therefore looking for a way to continue, not by restarting, but by carrying forward the questions and fascinations that had accumulated toward the end of that period.

The lectorate research offered such a continuation, albeit in a different form. It was more directed and contextualized, yet still grounded in hands-on experimentation, uncertainty, and speculative practice. Above all, I was finally able to write down some of my thoughts, what I have practiced, and what I wanted to share.

2025 in a Nutshell

As part of this research, I developed Machi-nory, a work that functions less as a fixed composition and more as an ongoing on-stage experimentation (tinkering!). Alongside this, I led two workshops that extended the research into pedagogical and collective contexts. The outcomes of this period—both artistic and reflective—will be published in written form and presented publicly in January–February 2026.

Another significant strand of this year was my return to the analog studio. Thanks to Kees Tazelaar, who allowed me to attend his classes after 19 years, I was able to re-learn analog studio techniques and, more importantly, to encounter them from a completely fresh perspective.

Working in this environment reshaped how I think about technology—not as something to be optimized or streamlined, but as a space for attention, constraint, and material decision-making. And what it truly means to deal with the process of making relations between the technological blocks.

I became particularly fascinated by VOSIM, which led to the composition of two new eight-channel works, Vosim Variations I & II. These pieces will be premiered next year at the Sonic Acts Festival and are partly commissioned by the festival.

These works draw on early spatial techniques developed before contemporary panning technologies, integrating phase relationships and distribution strategies rather than conventional spatial movement. They are also the first pieces I have composed entirely without a computer—created in the analog studio with minimal editing—which marked a meaningful shift in my compositional process.

Another memorable moment this year was a field-recording-based project Buoyants developed with Ludmila, Mike, and Rob. It was my first field recording practice, combined with experiments in vertical panning and spatial listening. Working with long-time friends for the first time gave this project a particular resonance, both personally and artistically.

This project will return again in April, in Veere, continuing its underwater exploration.

Across different projects, a recurring concern kept returning: how sound, signal, material, and action relate before they are organized into familiar structures. Much of my work unfolded around circuits, feedback systems, spatial sound, and performative situations where control was partial and outcomes remained contingent. What interested me was not mastery, but what emerges when systems are allowed to behave on their own terms.

Over the course of the year, something shifted in how I understand my practice. I became more attentive to states that precede clarity—to moments before sound becomes music, before signal becomes information, before an action becomes intention. Rather than trying to stabilize these moments too quickly, I began to see value in staying with them, letting them remain unresolved. Listening, oh, and listening!

This has also influenced how I think about research and writing. I am increasingly interested in writing not as a means of explanation, but as a way of thinking: of holding questions open, of resisting premature conclusions, and of making space for uncertainty as an active condition rather than a lack.

Looking ahead, I am not so much planning a new direction as continuing a trajectory. The coming period will focus on deepening questions around signals, material interactions, and the conditions under which things become perceptible or operative. I want to keep working at the threshold, where things are sensed but not yet named, where form has not fully settled.

This year did not bring closure, but it did bring a clearer sense of where I am standing. And for now, that feels enough.

Happy New Year to you all.

책을 위한 책, 음악을 위한 음악? Books about Books, Music for Music?

나는 책을 좋아한다. 좀 더 정확히 말하면 ‘독서’를 좋아한다고 하는 편이 맞을지도 모르겠다. 네덜란드에 살다 보니 한국 책을 손에 넣을 방법이 거의 전자책뿐이라 늘 이북으로 읽는다. 사실 읽을 수만 있다면 종이든 화면이든 상관없다. 다만 전자책은 검색이 용이하고, 필요한 구절을 쉽게 복사할 수 있으며, 이북 리더 하나면 수백 권의 책을 들고 다닐 수 있으니 꽤 실용적이다.

물론 실물책이 주는 즐거움도 있다. 책장을 넘기는 촉감, 종이 냄새, 즉석에서 메모를 하거나 포스트잇을 붙이는 행위. 하지만 나는 로맨티스트라기보다는 실용주의자에 가까운지도 모른다. 실물책에 크게 연연하지 않는 걸 보면 그렇다.

독서에서 가장 큰 재미는 책을 고르는 일이다. 이 과정이 중요한 이유는, 이 선택이 앞으로 며칠 동안의 내 독서 시간을 결정하기 때문이다. 좋은 책을 만나면 그 책을 읽는 2–3일간(대략 300페이지 기준) 내 태도조차 책의 영향을 받는다. 우울한 책을 읽으면 나도 조금 우울해지고, 흥미로운 책을 읽으면 독서에 더 몰입하게 된다. 결국 “다음에 어떤 책을 읽을까?”라는 선택은 늘 즐겁지만 힘든 일이다.

나에게 정해진 독서 시간도 있다. 하루 중 반드시 지키는 두 시간은 오전 7시와 저녁 9시 30분이다. 아침에 눈뜨자마자, 그리고 잠자리에 들기 전이다. 아침 독서는 전공과 관련된 공부를 위한 시간이다. 노트를 펼쳐놓고 45분 동안 5–7쪽 정도를 아주 천천히 읽으며, 요약을 남기고 중요한 구문을 옮겨 적는다. 아침을 택한 이유는 이 시간대의 의지가 강하고, 이런 책들은 많은 에너지를 필요로 하기 때문이다. 반대로 저녁에는 정말 읽고 싶은 책을 읽는다.

또 하나, 나는 독서 편력이 없다. 가리지 않고 닥치는 대로 읽는다. 소설, 역사, 과학, SF, 자기계발, 추리, 인문… 장르를 막론하고 다 좋아한다. 그중에서도 특히 좋아하는 장르는 ‘책 에세이’다.

책 에세이를 좋아하는 이유는 세 가지다.
첫째, 실용적인 이유로, 많은 책들을 소개해 주기 때문이다. 저자가 애착을 가진 책이 등장하곤 하는데, 그런 책은 대체로 매력이 크다.
둘째, 작가의 소소한 평가 속에서 책을 대하는 태도를 배우거나 내가 미처 생각하지 못한 시각을 만날 수 있다. 에세이 속 저자와 책이 교감하는 방식을 엿보며, 그것을 나의 방식과 비교하는 즐거움도 있다.
셋째, 독서가 느슨해질 때 책 에세이는 다시 책을 사랑하게 만든다. 책에 대한 열정이 담겨 있기 때문에, 한두 권만 읽어도 몇 달간의 독서 열정을 불러일으킨다. 좋은 책을 읽으면 소개하고 싶어진다. 그 욕구는 단순히 아까워서가 아니라, 책에 대한 대화를 나누고 싶은 마음이다. 독서 에세이는 그 대화의 갈증을 해소해 준다.

Italo Calvino 책 표지
Italo Calvino Book Cover

내가 즐겨 읽은 책 몇 권을 소개하자면:

  • Alberto Manguel – A History of Reading (독서의 역사), A Reader on Reading (책 읽는 사람들): 독서 행위 자체를 깊이 탐구하며 여러 책을 엮어낸 글쓰기 / 독서의 즐거움과 위안에 관한 39편의 글.
  • Italo Calvino – Why Read the Classics? (왜 고전을 읽는가): 고전을 읽는다는 것의 의미와 즐거움, 필요성을 구체적인 책들을 통해 풀어낸다.
  • 이동진 – 『밤은 책이다』: 따뜻한 어조로 70권이 넘는 책들을 소개. 특히 밤에 읽기 좋은 책들을 모았는데, 사실은 이동진의 글 자체가 좋다.
  • 유시민 – 『청춘의 독서』: 젊은 시절 읽었던 책들을 다시 돌아보며 쓴 글. 정치적 색채 때문에 읽는 내내 불편하기도 했지만, 책에 대한 관점은 여전히 흥미롭다.
  • Umberto Eco – Confessions of a Young Novelist, On Literature: 자신이 읽고 해석한 책들을 매개로 문학과 독서에 대해 사유한 글 모음.

그런데 문득 이런 생각이 든다. 책을 위한 책이 있다면, 음악을 위한 음악도 있지 않을까? 음악사 속에서 수없이 만들어진 변주곡이나 오마주, 리믹스 같은 것들이 바로 그런 예일 것이다. 이미 존재하는 음악을 다시 불러내고, 그 위에 자기만의 언어를 덧붙여 또 다른 음악을 만든다. 하나의 텍스트를 읽고 다시 글을 쓰듯, 음악은 음악을 다시 읽어내며 새로운 음악으로 태어난다. 그 가운데 가장 에세이적인 음악은 아마도 “원작을 비틀면서도, 결국은 다시 원작으로 돌아가게 만드는 음악”일 것이다. 단순한 차용이 아니라 자기 해석이 깊숙이 배어 있어, 듣는 이로 하여금 “그럼 원래 곡은 어땠을까?” 하고 궁금해지게 만드는 음악. 결국 원작과 새로운 해석 사이를 오가며, 청자를 흔드는 음악이다.

또 한편으로는, ‘듣기’라는 행위 자체를 탐구하는 음악도 있다. 존 케이지의 4’33”은 연주 대신 침묵 속에서 모든 소리를 듣게 함으로써 “음악은 소리가 아니라 듣기다”라는 사실을 드러냈다. 폴린 올리베로스의 Deep Listening은 ‘듣는 법’ 그 자체를 음악으로 삼았다. 이런 작품들을 떠올리면, 음악을 위한 음악이란 단순히 소리를 다시 쓰는 것이 아니라 음악을 어떻게 경험하고 해석할 것인가에 대한 질문이기도 하다.

독서를 하든, 음악을 듣고 만들든, 우리는 결국 우리 과거의 경험 위에서 움직인다. 에세이나 변주곡은 그 경험을 아주 구체적이고 창의적인 방식으로 드러내며, 작가와 연결되는 행위일 것이다. 어쩌면 내가 독서 에세이를 사랑하는 이유도 여기에 있는지 모른다. 흥미롭게도, 나는 변주곡이나 리믹스를 그만큼 사랑하지는 않는다. 그러나 그 차이가 또 재미있다.